Komikeren Lou Costello ringer for å kjøpe ny PC...

Salesman: Super Duper Computer Store. Can I help you?
Costello: Thanks. I am setting up an office at home and I am thinking about buying a computer.
Salesman: Mac?
Costello: No, the name is Lou.
Salesman: Your computer?
Costello: I don't own a computer. I want to buy one.
Salesman: Mac?
Costello: I told you, my name is Lou.
Salesman: What about Windows?
Costello: Why? Will it get stuffy in here?
Salesman: Do you wanta computer with Windows?
Costello: I don't know. What will I see when you look at the windows?
Salesman: Wallpaper.
Costello: Never mind the windows. I need a computer and software.
Salesman: Software for Windows?
Costello: No, on the computer!! I need something I can use to write proposals and track expenses and run my business. What do you have?
Salesman: Office.
Costello: Yes, for my office. Can you recommend anything?
Salesman: I just did.
Costello: You just did what?
Salesman: Recommend something.
Costello: You just recommended something?
Salesman: Yes.
Costello: For my office?
Salesman: Yes.
Costello: Ok, what did you recommended for my office?
Salesman: Office.
Costello: Yes, for my office!!
Salesman: I recommended Office with Windows.
Costello: I already have an office with windows!! OK, let's just say I'm sitting at my computer and I want to type a proposal. What do I need?
Salesman: Word.
Costello: What word?
Salesman: Word in Office.
Costello: The only word in office is office.
Salesman: The Word in Office for Windows.
Costello: Which word in office for windows?
Salesman: The Word you get when you click the blue "W".
Costello: I am going to click your blue "w" if you don't start with some straight answers! What about financial bookkeeping? You have anything I can track my money with?
Salesman: Money.
Costello: That's right. What do you have?
Salesman: Money.
Costello: I need money to track my money?
Salesman: It comes bundled with your computer.
Costello: What's bundled with my computer?
Salesman: Money.
Costello: Money comes with my computer?
Salesman: Yes, no extra charge.
Costello: I get a bundle of money with my computer? How much?
Salesman: One copy.
Costello: Isn't it illegal to copy money?
Salesman: Microsoft gave us a license to copy Money.
Costello: They gave you a license to copy money?
Salesman: Why not? They own it!!
Costello: Gee.. Well, one last question: How do I turn my computer off?
Salesman: Click on 'Start'...

"Hvordan få en edderkopp ut av vaginaen?" HÆÆ?

Jeg skvatt til da jeg leste denne setningen som er hentet fra en 'spør-legen'-internettside i USA.

Jeg tror ikke jeg skal si så mye mer - annet enn at jeg bare oversetter hele hendelsesforløpet.

Se forøvrig bildet fra nettsiden nedenfor...

HVORDAN FÅ EN EDDERKOPP UT AV ENS VAGINA?

Dette høres selvsagt gyselig ut, men jeg og min kjæreste var altså på campingtur i fjellene og kom tilbake for 3 dager siden. Under turen ble vi virkelig berusede og vi hadde sex på bar bakke. Det var stein og jord, og insekter - blant annet maur, sommerfugl-larver, edderkopper.

Jeg tror at en edderkopp kan ha kravlet opp min vagina fordi at da jeg våknet midt på natta så var det en edderkopp der nede som jeg fikk feid bort. Men nå har jeg fått mye svie og utflod, og jeg føler at det er noe som gjør at jeg produserer mye væske der nede. Og jeg er sår og har krampe nederst i magen. Jeg er redd for at det kan være egg som er lagt der inne, men jeg vil ikke gå til legen fordi de trolig vil le av meg.

Hva skal jeg gjøre?